Last weekend, Kerri and I took a few days to head to Myrtle Beach, SC, with some friends. For dinner one night, we went to this massive entertainment/shopping district called Broadway. After dinner, we strolled around the shoppes and just enjoyed the evening. One place we went into had a massive collection of salsas and dips, with quite a few available for sampling. Needless to say, we sampled.
The range of sauces was amazing; from sweet to hot, they had it all. Just before leaving, however, I saw this one called "Death by Salsa" and had 3 X's on the label. I inquired as to why it had XXX as I've never known salsa to be pornographic in nature. Her response was simple: "It's the hottest salsa we carry," at which point my wife asked me if I was going to try it. Heck yea I'm going to! I'm a man's man, right!? 
With some hesitancy, I dipped (not scooped) my chip into the juice, took a bite, and all was fine.
For 15 seconds.
And then death hit. I have never felt so much pain in my life. Okay, maybe not, but you get the idea. My mouth was literally on fire, and with every breath, the air that passed over seemed only to mimic the Santa Ana winds of the California wildfires! It only got hotter and hotter. I was literally crying. Obviously, I was done, so I walked out of the store to get some fresh air - like that would help.
I ended up going into a restaurant two doors down and asked the host, crying all the while, for some sugar packets. Thank God for sugar. It took about 15 minutes for the pain to finally subside. And all this was from only dipping the chip into the juice. I cannot possibly imagine who would scoop that salsa for pleasure.
So what about you? What's the hottest thing you've ever eaten?
Monday, October 20, 2008
death by salsa
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3 comments:
I put that stuff on my toilet paper really warms the old keister up!
One of my first childhood memories was eating at a Chinese restaurant, I was probably about three. The waitress brought out a bowl of hot mustard. I remember insisting I wanted a bite, and after arguing with me for about five minutes my parents finally relented and said I could have one bite. Knowning I was only getting one bite I wanted it to count, so I used a tablespoon. I've not been a huge fan of hot mustard since that day. I find milk is the best solution to cool my pallet after an offensive ingestion.
I went into that exact same store tonight... they still have it by the way. I almost bought a jar of it for my buddies to try. Like you I figured what the heck im a man and it cant be that hot. I was wrong. I scooped and felt it as soon as I took a bite. I sipped on a pepsi for about 5 minutes if find that it was boiling in my mouth! After I finished the pepsi, my mouth was still on fire and went a couple of stores down to get an ice cream cone. It helped a little... It took about 30 minutes for the pain to go away! I will never try that salsa again, and I have learned that when it says that this is the hottest salsa in the world I will believe the add and go the other way!
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